I am not a dedicated raider, but I love raiding. Since I can never commit to the raiding schedules that guilds require of their raiders, I am in a constant state of pugging. When I'm not actively in a pug, I am scanning the trade channel looking for one that will have all the qualities required to be successful- gear, experience, patience, and maybe a little bit of luck. When I find such a group, I'm ecstatic. But more often than not, I face group after group of impatient, inexperienced, and under geared scrubs who simply want to be carried to the final boss so they can get their [EPIC LOOT] Those groups often end in a way that everyone who has ever pugged is familiar with- people getting frustrated and leaving. But every now and then, there is a group that fails so bad, the fail is almost a win, in and of itself, for being such a unique level of fail.

Those are the groups this blog is about.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Whale Shark

The Burning Crusade had the Fel Reaver in Hellfire Peninsula. A mechanical monstrosity whose footsteps shook the zone, and whose mighty shadow sent noobs and veterans alike fleeing for safety and punished those foolish enough to stand their ground.

For awhile.

Wrath of The Lich King had Thrym in Zul'Drak. A frankenstein-ish horror who patrolled a lonely section of road, crushing AFK-ers and travelers who ventured close enough beneath his massive foot.

...For awhile.

Cataclysm has introduced yet another great behemoth- the Whale Shark. The Whale Shark, who laughs at science as much as he laughs at tanks.
Whale Shark has asked me to let you know that it is displeased by your tone, and to deliver the following message:
Whale Shark is the devourer of the slow moving and inattentive. This includes plankton, whales, and AFK players. Whale Shark swims where and how it pleases. Whale Shark /spits on your science.

-Daxxarri, us.battle.net forums

The Whale Shark, who inspires epic stories of defeat.
Thought i should share my experience of whaleshark. Me and five or so guildies were questing in the area killing Naga and whatnot, when i noticed a small yellow dot on the corner of my minimap. I began to swim over to mine said dot when i noticed it... whaleshark! With his big funny mouth and little beady eyes! I called the guys over and we went about discussing if we could take it or not. We decided tank'n'spank was the best course of action and off i charged, in full gnomish glory! Devistate hit 6k, than 8 and sheild slam for 10k! Rawr! All whaleshark did was blink. It was that blink that hit me so hard it disbanded my guild and deleted my account. Curse, vent, every expansion uninstalled. Even the desktop icon and my background of chromie gone. I had to log onto the guild forum to find out what was going on! It turns out the rest of the guild tried to run but to no avail, whaleshark opened his huge mouth and hit them all with 560k effortlessly. Anyone wearing metal had his armour shattered, the casters were stripped naked and one druid had his tree form turned into tooth picks. It was terrible. And as if that wasnt enough, whaleshark grew a hand and reached through my screen, flipped me off, inapropriatly touched my girlfriend and punched my cat. Im still traumatised. Apparently everynight before he goes to bed, Chuck Norris checks under his bed for whaleshark...

-Abigaile, wowhead comment

The Whale Shark, who obliterates tanks with a with a mere look and causes clothies to implode, leaving behind only a few air bubbles that drift to the surface.

I was foolish enough to go and mess around with whale shark. In the words of Illidan Stormrage- I was not prepared! Whale Shark demolished me, my party, and judging by the screams echoing through the zone, I think he also killed everyone else as well, merely as retribution for me interrupting his afternoon tea. To be fair, I was unprepared. I hadn't researched the fight or established what was necessary to kill him. Hubris led me to saunter over to him with a group of seven, two or three of them a mere 81-83. After a thorough thrashing by Whale Shark, we disbanded and fled the scene. I don't like to think of it as running away. I prefer calling it a tactical retreat. Whale Shark may have won that battle, but I guarantee, he will not win the war.

OMG! They're rolling in packs, now!  /runaway!

1 comment:

  1. [...] after my last post, Whale Shark 1.0, I set out on a mission- I was going to kill Whale Shark. I was going to avenge the death of my [...]